Parents Should Enforce Clear Strict Rules for Kids

Parents Should Enforce Clear Strict Rules for Kids

by Ruth Padawer, New Jersey Media Group

Parents worry they have little control over their teen's drinking habits, but experts say that's not true. In fact, many well-intentioned parents are actually driving their kids to drink.

Some parents think letting their children drink with pals at home fosters responsible alcohol use and makes alcohol less alluring. The data strongly contradict that. Studies show that teens who get party booze from their parents are twice as likely ot drink and to binge, perhaps because a parent appears to be sanctioning alcohol use.

One out of five eight-graders and half of 12th graders nationwide consume alcohol at least once a month. Teens average 4.5 drinks per sitting. State laws raising the drinking age to 21 saved 24,000 lives from 1975 through 2004.

Many parents are reluctant to lay down the law, afraid their children will resent the strictures. But experts say kids need clear rules and enforced consequences. "Loosening up the reins so an not to alienate their kids has a paradoxical effect: It can destroy the very relationship parents are after, " said Christine Jackson, a prime researcher on parental influence on teen alcohol use.

So what should parents to? Studies clearly show that the following reduce teen alcohol use:

	Set clear family rules about teen drinking, such as never drink with friends and never ride in a car with a drive who has been drinking. Remind your teen that underage drinking is illegal, unhealthy, and life threatening.
	Never host a party unless you're willing to supervise it closely. Don't be on the second floor if the party's on the first.
	Call parents whose home is to be used for a party. Make sure that adults will monitor the kids and that alcohol won't be served.
	Don't supply liquor for your child's socializing. Parents who do double the chance that their teenager will become a heavy drinker.
	Monitor the alcohol supply in your home. Make clear that you don't allow unchaperoned parties in your house.
	Set a good example. If you use alcohol, use it moderately. Don't glamorize your past alcohol use. And don't come home from work saying, "I had a rotten day. I need a drink."
	Ask your child where she is going, whom she'll be with and what she'll be doing. Have your child check in regularly. Get to know her friends and parents.
	Set a curfew and enforce it strictly.
	Impose consequences if your teen blows curfew, comes home drunk, or isn't where she's supposed to be. Youth who expect a verbal reprimand if caught drinking were 1.5 times less likely to drink, and youth who anticipated loss of privileges were two times less likely to drink or binge than those whose parents did not respond to their drinking.
	Work on the overall relationship with your adolescent. studies show good parent-child communication, mutual respect and collaborative decision making all lower incidences of teen drinking.

Don't kid yourself into thinking your child is not at risk. All kids are at risk.